2.5 year in Idaho

It has been 2 and half years since we moved to Idaho.  I have loved it, hated it, wished for return to 'home' of Redlands, and yet here I am.  Today is a day that is hard for me.  November is my favorite month and yet, it is also the hardest month for me.  I have super highs and really low lows.  I love the thanksgiving holiday and I love the family times that we share, but I also deal with emotional junk this month.  I hit the wall often and I stand on the cliff of depression often.  I usually can see it coming and that is part of the fun, right?

God then says what are you going to choose?  Are you going to go down to the pit of despair or up to the mount of joy?  I deal with emotional junk that says jump on down, the sewer of sin and self pity is great.  Reality hits and I know that is not the path I want to go down.  I did that for 20 plus years of my life and it only brought more sin, self loathing, hate and hurt.  I don't want to do that ever again!  

Then the other choice is to look up…to look for strength from the Lord, to die to the self pity party that feel so good in the moment, but really does more harm than good.

Back in September I went to a woman's retreat and it was said that self-pity and pity parties are just as much of an addiction as alcohol or drugs.  The brain has made connections that when emotional junk happens the path previously made just takes over.  In my case, self-pity and self loathing.  As a believer I must take that thought, feeling, emotional response handhold it to the standard that Christ has given me.  I can't tell Paul to do it for me, nor can I blame anyone for this reaction.  I have made the path firm and fully rudded.

As November starts and the emotions are starting to flood in, I have to remind myself that the old me has pasted away and the new me is in Christ.  That means the old emotional paths need to be changed.  How do I do this?  That is the ever question I ask myself.  As I see the junk happening around me and the pressure in my mind to do what I have always done looks so tempting I want to flee and jump into Jesus' arms and hear Him tell me to read my favorite scriptures and part often to get my mind back to where is belongs.

FULLY LOOKING TO HIM FOR ALL MY EMOTIONAL RESPONSES!!!!

How do I love...

I just want to say that I absolutely love our new a/c. We were without for about 4 days and let me tell you we were truly starting to hate each other. With just hot air roaming our home we could not take or think about being nice. We had a hard enough time just being. Tonight we have air and it is cool. To come home to a home that is ready for me to relax and unwind. Thank you to our air guys and finding a unit that we could actually think about affording. I love cool air!!!!!

New Season in Life

Just to say wow, it's been forever since I wrote, so here is a recap! June -Paul resigns from PCA/Church -We decide to homeschool - I still am working at CTK July- No jobs out there for Paul - Paul and I feel God calling us to start a new church plant in a hot place - No job = no vacation August- Paul still no job -Melanie works now hours - Paul teaches homeschool - waiting patiently for God's leading! So now to bed!

Sick Days

When one of your children get sick you must do what you have to to help them feel better. This week I have stayed home 2 days and you would not believe the amount of stuff I got done at home! It is incredible. The down side is a sick kid and no income because I am not at work.

Here is Joelle. She fell asleep while snuggling Gingie and Mr. Mooie. They are her favorite huge stuffed animals. It was about 1:30 in the afternoon and she was gone for quit a while. She must not have been faking it.

Family Portraits!

Back in June my family had our pictures done by Diane Loveless Photos. SHe did a great joba nd we loove them all! Here are a few of my favorites.

My parents place

The adults Verhoeven's

Me & my sisters

all the grand kids

the MEN

Mom just about lost it on this one! I think this one is my favorite!

Dad and his girls

the whole clan

the clan on the cliff

My Sweet Kora

Lily Marie!

Joelle aka JoeJoe

Verhoeven's

me and my beloved!

Our Fig Tree! and Flowers!

this is our rose from Mom and Dad V for our engagement 13 years ago. It is called "Perfect Moment"

Our jasmine plant really doing well!

FLowers that Lily and Joelle helped pick out and plant.

Our figs

Kora with the fig tree. Notice her broken arm!

We, meaning Paul, planted a beautiful Brown Turkey Fig Tree this week! The fig are wonderful and we look forward to eatting many more!

Our New Adventure! Gardening!

A view from our patio, the 'hill" falling down!

the back of the house

the east side of the house

more of the east side of the house

This year Paul I have finally decided to plan a garden! This will take a bit of work as we have have lived in our current house for 10 years and have never done much if anything to our back yard! It is totally in a mess! I should have taken pictures of the before, before, but I have the now 3 weeks into cleaning it out pictures to show you! We plan on planting fruit trees and vegetables and maybe others things! I'm very excited about it and Paul is too!

Vacation in Pictures! SF and Sac